Dear God, Thank You For the Hard Days

Today was a hard day. In fact, there have been many hard days in the last few months. Things were going so well for so long, then hard came back.

So, what do I feel?

Angry: It’s not fair the hard is back.

Sad: Comes with the territory.

Tired: So very, very tired of the fight.

Anxious: We don’t know how this current situation will look on the other side.

Mean: I feel like such a jerk because we set some boundaries and I have taken some time away from things and people to process.

Fear: So much fear. I shouldn’t. I am a Christian. I know the ultimate end and we win, but I am still scared.

Failure: The Christian world sometimes expects people to never be scared, so in those eyes, I am a failure. I am a failure because I didn’t have the strength to just go about life with a smile.

Ashamed: See all above.

Hope: Because of Jesus.

I think of David in the Psalms and how he would start utterly devastated and would end with praise on his lips for God. That’s the hope. Life is really hard, but despite it all, my sliver of hope is Jesus. Sometimes that hope is all the trees on earth, but right now it’s a sliver.

One of the things that impressed upon me in my theology class is the choice Jesus made to give us that hope. It would take a much longer post to explain this fully, but Jesus chose to come as a man knowing it was the only way to save and restore our relationship with God. We learned about the process of crucifixion. Words could not describe the horrendous suffering it caused. It’s one of the worst forms of punishment in all of history. Jesus knew His end, yet He still chose to come, so that we all may have hope. So, I will cling to the sliver for dear life because Jesus is life.

Thank you, God, for the hard days.

#looseparticlesandsquigglylines