What’s in a Name Part 1 - Loose Particles!

Let’s get down to business to explain the name......or, at least the first half.

Have you ever seen something that defined you so much that you laughed uncontrollably and continued to cackle every time you think about it? That’s exactly what happened when I opened the dictionary one day. I noticed myself saying grit a lot and realized I sounded like I was from the 1800s, so I went searching for a like word. However, I saw the definition and never went further. Then, I laughed!

Grit:

1. small loose particles of stone or sand.

2. courage and resolve; strength of character.

If that doesn’t describe me, I don’t know what does! Let me explain.

I talked to my therapist recently about feeling parted out. Not whole. Broken. I had lost myself. Particles were going everywhere. I wasn’t Rosa, daughter of the Most High, anymore. Now, I know I still am, but it didn’t feel that way. I have given up so much to take care of the things I need to. I’m under constant stress. My emotions are sometimes all over the place. I felt like loose particles floating around. All of Rosa was going to all these other people and things. Loose particles resonated so deeply within me, then I kept reading......

Courage and resolve. That’s when God really started talking to me. He reminded me that despite feeling like loose particles floating all over the place, He has given me great courage and resolve to continue on the journey He has for my life. I have been through some things. I’ve cried a lot of tears, but I’ve prayed even more. I have nothing in me. All that there is and all that I do is because of God. I can continue on because He has given me the resolve to not give up. Not only that, but He has given me a purpose and it only came because of all the crazy that has left me feeling like loose particles.

I decided to start writing these posts for a few reasons. Writing is therapeutic for me and when I started school, I realized, I’m pretty decent at it. I also have lived a lot of life. I have a long way to go, but I have learned some things along the way that might help someone. That’s the most important reason, so many people feel like they are the only one, “abnormal.” Someone may be going through the exact same things and need to know they aren’t alone. I share my life and feelings because life is real and it’s messy. I don’t want anyone to ever feel alone in their struggles. We don’t need to fix the things we don’t understand in others. We need to support them. unconditionally. All anyone wants is to be loved and understood as they are. People are fallible, but God is not. I will continue to let people down, but God will not. It’s when my loose particles are all over the place that God is building great courage and resolve in me and it’s the same in you. So, be gritty, it’s ok.

Yes, I could have named the blog Grit or Be Gritty, but loose particles is more me. It will make more sense when I put it together with part 2.

#looseparticlesandsquigglylines